We Have Our Winners!

Thank you so much to everyone who submitted a story, read, and voted! We couldn't have done it without you! We would also like to thank our amazing judges, without whom we never would've made it through this with our sanity intact (yes, we realize the state of our sanity is debatable - but it is unquestionably better than it would have been without those six lovely ladies!).

We were astounded by the reception of this contest! We gave out over 160 prompts and received 70 well-written entries, so the competition was fierce.

We know what you're here for, so without further ado...we'd like to present the winners of the FML contest!

Open Voting

In the open voting rounds, all seventy stories went head-to-head to compete for the top two spots. The top ten from each of the two rounds went on to the final round, which featured the twenty stories that had been deemed the best by readers.

First Place - Scared STIFF by Breath-of-Twilight and Fragile Human


Well it’s no surprise to us that this little ditty won the open voting round. It contains all of the elements we’ve come to expect in a well-written one-shot: sexy Edward, beautiful Bella, some very tart fruit of the citrus variety, and a dose of humor, for good measure.

It’s Edward and Bella’s 15th anniversary. Edward, fearing that the spark may be dying, decides to go all out for their special night. He makes her a beautiful meal and then surprises her (and himself!) with a dose of that little blue pill.

What happens next can only be described as sheer hilarity:

“I was the one in danger of losing a vital piece of my anatomy! Suddenly, Bella snorted. Not some dainty little squeak, either. It was a full blown, nose-clearing, porcine reminiscent snort.”

Now do you see where this is going? And wait – we’re only half-way there! What follows is a trip to the emergency room, and a familiar foe from days of yore returns to complete Edward’s humiliation.

How will it end? We’re not telling, but this story truly encompasses the meaning of “Fuck My Life.”

Second Place - Epiphanies and Grenades by fardareismai2

Oh my. This one-shot beings in a foxhole during World War II. Seth Clearwater and Edward Cullen are partnered, trading shifts as one sleeps and the other stands guard. Edward is pulled from sleep as a strange noise awakens him.

He looks over to see Seth, clearly having a personal moment. What ensues is an incredibly delicious slashy moment, one that leaves the characters and readers alike highly satisfied. Yet, this story isn’t all slashy lemon. FarDareisMai2 takes the time to set the scene, and deals with the aftermath as well:

"Edward, I'm sure you have a lot of questions, and if nothing ever happens again I understand, but I'm not gonna lie, I really hope it happens again," he finished with a whisper.

"I think," I whispered back, "I think I'd like that."

The story sweeps toward its conclusion, bringing out of post-coital bliss and back into the rough and tumble of the war. Will Seth and Edward make it out alive? Will they make it out together? C’mon, you don’t think we’d spoil the end, do you?

What we can say is this: the final moments of this story embody the spirit of “Fuck My Life” with perfection. Give it a read – you won’t be disappointed!

Judges' Selection Round

During validation, each story was read by two judges, and each judge had a chance to choose her three favorite stories to go through to the JSR. Once all the judges had made their selections, all eighteen of the chosen stories were sent out to all six judges, who then read them and scored them with a very complicated spreadsheet to assign values to things like "Use of Prompt" and "Technical Grammar," all the way down to a gut emotional reaction to the story. The two stories that had the highest average were declared the winners of the JSR.

First Place - All the Ingredients for a Good Day by EchoesOfTwilight

We've all had bad days, but when they land on your birthday, it is certainly the epitome of an FML. EchoesOfTwilight received a prompt that made my own heart break a little:

Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money. FML

EchoesOfTwilight took this prompt and gave her protagonist, Bella, a reprieve with a sweet and happy ending to her birthday. Despite the craptastic birthday she had been having, her hot neighbor does his best to make it better. A funny, sweet and ultimately romantic twist to this FML made it pure win for our judges.

Second Place - Dark Nights and Better Days by coolbreeeze


This story will make you mad, sad, and go 'awwwwwwwwww' all at once. As if getting cheated on isn't bad enough, Jasper comes home after kicking his boyfriend out to find that all of his favorite game stations have been tossed out the window and shattered...much like his love life. Somehow, Coolbreeze still manages to give Jasper a very happy ending in this one shot that captured the attention of all the judges.

Special Awards and Mentions

We want to congratulate all our winners for a job extremely well done despite starting out with a complete FML reaction as soon as they received their prompts They took bad situations and made them interesting...made them funny...made them sad...just made them awesome in general, and we are thrilled with the turn out!

But wait...we're not finished! Oh, no - please come back tomorrow for the announcement of our special awards. Each judge and each host has chosen a story near and dear to her heart for...well, whatever reason. Some of the awards are serious, some are funny, but all are heart-felt, and we welcome you all back to congratulate those winners as well - tomorrow!